i jhust puked up my retainher.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
