More tranny stories later!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
