Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
