put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
PANTIES FOUND
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