small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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