So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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