just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
