if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
