Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
