I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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