Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
