this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
