the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
