I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think a kid would responsible me up
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize