I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
