I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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