ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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