Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
