Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
