she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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