did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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