Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
so much tequila, so little girl.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
