We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I believe in your delicious
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
