i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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