me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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