Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
