Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
ok first of all what the fuck
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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