He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
