Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize