Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize