Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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