another moral hangover. fuck.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
