Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
