we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
