I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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