You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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