Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my shit smells like andre
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
