P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
