Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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