And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
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