hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
