Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
