ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize