I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
