it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
