so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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