I accidentally burped into my bong.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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