So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize