Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
