Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
