Can Purell be used as lube?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
