just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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