Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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