im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How does it feel to date your dad?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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