I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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