Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize