Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
