Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
