How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
