: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
