no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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