I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
