Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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