that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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